To Reema

When life repeats itself over and over again it is hard to expect anything new. When people leave and take with them my trust and hard work, I trust a little less and want to throw it all aside.

I’m a sincere person and I work hard to keep the people in my life happy. Sometimes happier than myself. So, to me it is more than a slap in the face when people do me wrong or leave. But it has happened so many times now that I’ve grown to expect it.

But the person I am does not dial back the sincerity. I do not give less because I expect less. But what does grow is the space between me and people. And the walls around me. And it’s hard to keep track who’s at fault for that. Or if it even matters.

What matters is though, that it is definitely not the fault of the people that I meet now. What I have to realise and keep in mind, time and time again, is that no two people are alike and even though similar disappointments have happened to me does not dictate this as the ultimate outcome of every relationship I have. It is my reacting to my past instead of taking action in the present that leads to conflict.

So I want to thank you for giving me a second chance and proving to me that not everyone is the same. For talking things over and hugging it out. You are the example I will think of  when I struggle to trust people.  I want you to know how truly grateful I am to have met you. That I appreciate the honesty and boldness of your character you said some people come to dislike. And that I really, really, really, want to stay friends and go to one of those fancy vegan restaurants.

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